Evil : Not born but made

Hello Shayna Basu! Incoming review!

This is such a true testament, evil people are born from evil. There is no bad person who was once a victim of evil first. It was, however, their choice to succumb to the dark side. With that said, let me get on with the review!

I will start with critique.

I personally think the visuals don't do much for the substance of the poem. When you want to get good at writing, the words should be able to paint the picture itself. Maybe if you went a more story telling route with this poem, you could describe her face twisted in agony. What kind of evil she had to suffer. The voice that called her into evil. You have a very strong premise for your poem and you can build off it to make a poem that will leave an impression on your reader.

Another thing I would say is to avoid "to be" verbs, those being "are, am, is, was were, been, and being." With those words, you are telling me what the girl was instead of showing me. You told me she was a princess. What kind of a princess? An innocent girl, unaware of what is happening? Or maybe a spoiled brat with her nose pointed high to the sky. I can tell you're a strong writer by the eloquent words used, so with that I want more. I have questions I want answered.

With the critique out of the way, let me praise your work!

As stated in the beginning, you chose a great premise for your poem. And the lines

She was austerely harassed

By her own people

This poem is the definition of people becoming what they are raised in. The princess was not protected, she was belittled and bullied. No one praised her, they only bullied her. She no longer felt pure, she felt like nothing. She felt like a worthless piece of trash. Over time, she demanded that more people be beheaded, and that more people be tortured. The princess made the people who hurt her suffer and brutally killed whoever dared to try and stop her. She is now queen, she planned her own coronation, and ordered that the most beautiful dress be made for her. The dress fit her petite figure perfectly. But no one stared in awe at the beautiful princess, they stared in utter fear. While everyone else danced, no one else danced with the queen. The queen left her own coronation party, determined not to let anyone see her cry. "Why?" She thought as mascara ran down her cheeks. If she hadn't become cruel then she would have never become queen, she would have been forced off her throne. She grabbed a knife and walked back into the ballroom. She walked up to a baron and pierced his heart with her knife. She listened to the screams and the baron convulsed on the floor. She needed to prove that she was worthy to rule. Mascara continued to run down her cheeks.

"I am so, so sorry, my love," She whispered.